Tag: thoughts

Good Afternoon

Good Afternoon. I was chatting with my web hosting support about certain features on my website. I hope it’s resolved in a few days. I’ll check back every 12 hours or so.

The last two weeks were sheer hell. Finally better weather. Thank goodness. Last nite was brutal for me as was yesterday morning. Brutal. Damn.

I think I’m doing better in my psych/mental state right now. Or so I hope. No, I’m not in a rush to leave. Taking it slow. One day at a time. I have a doctor’s xoom meeting in less than an hour.

Florida beat Houston. Oh my. first NCAA championship since 2007. HOLLA

~emma ruth

oh damnit

they hacked that credit card too. No more credit cards. Just have a debit card now.

oh damnit.

I hope I’m leaving now.

I won’t put the debit card details online.

i knew this would happen. I was tryna to avoid it.

~emma ruth

1980s, GI Joe, ER + RE

This morning I noticed that I was moved to the 1980s. That was a magical time for many of us and my generation. Economy was booming, our country was strong and admired worlds-wide.

In the Philippines, back in the ’60s and ’70s, we called Americans all “Joe’, even the women. Because of the Army and other armed forces present there at bases like the one at Subic Bay. Joe is a term of endearment for Americans whom we trust, respect, and admire, especially for being the ‘good guys’ who make sure kiddos and women and the vulnerable are never harmed. We call you Joe out of affection, trust, and respectful admiration. To be American wasn’t just to say you’re White. We also consider black, latino, indian, and now Islamists American too. And the admiration we have for your Ninongs and Ninangs – Native American Indian.

I dunno why you would demonize certain groups who admire you and respect you and think of you as the good guys who will assist them in their times of trouble. We think of you as JOE…. good guys who care about those being harmed, especially little, women, seniors, and the vulnerable. Isn’t that what being American is all about.

You can use ER and RE out there publicly. But please be a Rundell. I’m THE ER and my 3 year old daughter is THE RE… so be some kind of Rundell. Great name that Rundell has.

During the 90s Hollywood did a lot of films on JOE v Nazis. Nazis aren’t just orange… but they are considered the proverbial ‘bad guys’.

We are working Asians into the narrative in recent years. I hope you can be Charlies. Charlie Chans. We used to refer to Asians as Charlie… We’d say, “Not today, Charlie. No Sireee, Charlie Chan. But let’s hope Charlie can now get along with our beloved JOE.

~emma ruth

leaders in a democracy or democratic republic

  1. you were democratically elected and not everyone voted for you or supports you
  2. being a leader doesn’t mean going after everyone you hate and making them your new jews to gas and kill
  3. it’s a job as an executive
  4. you are to not be a dictator, tyrant, despot, or even a haughty, mean oligarch
  5. if you’re found to be abusing your authority
  6. you will be recalled, impeached, and for some of you…..
  7. sent to the Hague to answer for your crimes against humanity
  8. we aren’t your YES-Men to do your bidding, including harming the defenseless just because you hate them
  9. we aren’t your expendable pawns to be your dogs to take the fall for your misdeeds
  10. get your heads out of your ass
  11. i’m sick and tired of waking up and finding myself in birmingham, alabama circa early 1960s
  12. where they killed those they disliked including little
  13. but now in 2025 they going after other groups and a NEW JEW
  14. try to bring yourselves to the 21st century and 2025
  15. those who don’t know HISTORY
  16. are DOOMED
  17. to repeat it
  18. and one, it shows you don’t actually know
  19. and you’re repeating it
  20. cause you ignant
  21. wake up
  22. smell the coffee
  23. and stop shoving your heads up the asses of those who kill good folk just because they never supported you or liked you
  24. triflin mfers
  25. ~emma ruth
  26. anyone who would use my social security # are my dogs with dog tags.
  27. make sure you’re an organ donor

Tru Dat

Yes, since 2015 I’ve been working on myself, by myself, and in the good care of doctors, nurse practitioners, and sometimes therapists. I did a lot of the inner work that I needed to do… albeit, a long time ago. I cried, I struggled, I examined and re-examined traumatic scenes and I healed and I grew stronger. I grew braver. I found my voice in the midst of chaos and upheaval and a verra unkind and cold environs.

I don’t think I’m bipolar anymore. Or now it’s just dormant. But when I get to World Trade, I won’t need to rely on medication to stabilize my moods. I re-learned how to do it naturally. By reprogramming my own mind and getting rid of a lot of toxic and harmful programming. By learning how to block, ignore, ban, and delete. I learned self-care. I learned to be good to myself especially when there were those who were uncaring.

I learned that I was a fool to think the ways I used to especially around the time I was diagnosed in the early 2000s. I learned that I wasn’t able to see as I am now able to see now. I learned to embrace my rage in private and work through the pain and anger in private so as not to ever take it out on anyone else.

I tried to be an inspirational story for others going through difficulties and challenges similar to mine. I gained better critical thinking skills. I started to learn what love is truly about and that I never really understood it.

So when I’m finally where I need to be, I will never take another precious moment for granted with true friends and family who actually care about me.

I was blind. I was mute. I was deaf. Tasteless. Unfeeling. I had to start at ground zero and build myself back up and re-learn all my senses. And in the process, I gained other senses… senses we need… like a moral barometer.
I realize what I did wrong. I realize what I failed to do or what I shouldn’t have done. I learned to not make excuses for it. But to know that even my own record is not unblemished.

I dunno if I’ll be the angel I once was again, but now that I have a daughter, I will make sure she can avoid the mistakes I made and do it better. And maybe younger kiddos who know my story can avoid my pitfalls and not only do it as good as me, but at least one better.

I learned that not everyone or everything needs a response. I learned how to remain silent. Because silence is rarely misinterpreted. I learned restraint. And I learned how to laugh at my own numerous human failings.

And I’m glad that I believe in Him/Good Lord/Allah. I’m glad that my Mama made sure He was always in my life, even after she dies in 2018. One of the best gifts you can give your own kiddos, is ‘faith.’

~emma ruth

Home, Kiddos, ETA, Secret Royals, Art

I’m in Ridgewood/Glendale/Flushing Quooklyn, NYC, NY right now. I should be going to World Trade relatively soon. My home with my hubby is somewhere Upstate, NY. We just have 1 daughter together – Ruthie. She looks like me. Oh my eyes are hazel and so is hers.

Oh yes, Academy, aren’t we all Princesses from where our parentals/lolos/lolas are from too? Each and every one of us. It’s just at only at formal occasions do we don our family tiaras and formally greet one another. Usually no one knows that we are ‘secret royals’. Though, the cat is out of the bag now, and they should know class of 1990 are ALL princesses.

St. A’s Class of 1986, we determined all the girls for the most part because aren’t they also part of Academy, or at least ours or a sister academy.

Yah, I was cussing Tara Jean last nite while I slept because they took my teeth to magically redistribute my artistic talents to others, especially her. So I was pissed off because I NEED my smile back.

My other 30/31 kiddos are with their Fathers. And my hubby’s other kiddos are with their moms. Though 1 or 2 older ones may be staying with us.

Peter Gunnard – for Wuvvies – Pent D’Rare Gun {Ten Rare PD Gun}

Yes, Emmaruth.co will go live in the next week or so.

I’m ready. She’s not. But they will let her have access to me so that one day she will be ready. I guess other several clients too. Please use your own names.

~emma ruth

NYC + Formalities

I’m just tryna to get to World Trade which has usually always been connected to NYC. My birth documents let you know that I arrive at the NY Infirmary, but no one knows where that is HERE because it’s at World Trade. So I can resume my actual form and get my smile back. Oh I’m a brunette with mood eyes – usually golden brown hair and sometimes auburn, eyes usually golden brown too but hazel now and then, only light eyed when doing my ‘special abilities’ as either an angel or demon.

Yes, I am a Princess Royal of Visayas. As Alyssa Dibi Rusari I am a Princess from Maharlika, but that was a long time ago. There are several princesses from Maharlika and that’s usually how they know you’re a Princess Royal from the Philippines. Usually no one ever has to greet me formally or give me preferred treatment. You can cuss me, flip me off, and instigate a fight with me. I don’t expect you to treat me like a punishing goddess. I hope you cuss me, flip me off, and tell me off. You only have to be formal at formal occasions, like a state ball or state banquet. There will be a procession line where all royals and dignitaries including Presidents line up to be greeted by arriving guests. And that’s the only time you either bow, curtsy, or salute and say the proper formal greetings. We are lined up by rank, and as you know I’m just a Princess Royal of Visayas.

But usually every day, cuss me, tell me to move my fat ass out of your way, and tell me off. That’s why I love NY especially NYC, they don’t care who you are, they will tell you off and do it rather well.

I rarely ever take it personally. You’re really not supposed to. Because at the end of the day, it’s just between you and your maker, whomever you believe he or she is. Like they say, “Take it up with G-0”

I love mean tweets. The meaner, the better. And RP points for those with creative flair.

I rarely take anything personally. I’m not vengeful. And I encourage ‘diplomacy’ and the ‘art of conversation’. Communication is one of my majors.

I am an artist. I encourage all women to at least minor in art and language because women are more right-hemisphere and do a bit better in languages than men. I encourage most men to do some kind of engineering, economics, finance because they are more left-hemisphere and do a bit better in higher maths than women. They both can do art, but different kinds slightly better than the other.

I encourage women to become like a Miss Ridgewood, Miss New York or win the blue ribbon for their homemade blueberry pie or strawberry jam. I encourage men to play sports and either volunteer as a first responder or do some time in the armed forces. Women can play sports too, but cheerleading, band, glee, majorettes is recommended.

If you take what I say personally, I usually feel bad. I rarely get personal, only with hubby.

~emma ruth

Aftermath

Oh last night I was fighting with Anne Curtis-Smith in the Philippines. I’m pissed off that she and her colleagues have been using me and my family to advance in their acting careers and profit from me considerably. She was never my friend, she’s at least a generation and half younger and I’m not her fucking dog or her fucking cat. I was her MENTOR, that fucking ingrate. Do you know what I did for your show and your fucking network. You fucking ingrates. I’m AMERICAN, you dolts. I TAUGHT your asses HOW TO FUCKING read and COUNT.

And then she wants all my boyfriends. She’s even a mistress of a Keanu Reeves. Dunno why he would choose her. She ain’t shit.

Yes, Rundell, we’ll collaborate for emmaruth.org. yes, that’s in the offing. Well that’s not your actual name, but because you’re from Kentucky, I will encourage cooperative efforts for national security and the betterment of mankind. You’re alright, but you did try to give me a RUNDELL [virus]. But I fought through it and now I’m basically INVINCIBLE.

Alyssa Sandoval. Yes, you can be a 1972, but don’t ever touch my name. You’re with Maybelline Deleon. She’s either your sister, half-sister, or cousin. I’m related to Maybelline, but prolly not to you.

So that’s why you wanted to use my name, Tara Jean. I see. Well, now I am “Primaessa Mercy Stroemann” because of your underhanded manipulation behind the scenes. I put you in check, girl.

I have two 1972 half-sister twins. 3/13/72. My Father and her Mother is a Reeves. And then Anne Sara from Canada. She’s a Capricorn – like 12/26. Same Father, my Mother’s cousin perhaps. I’m still my Father’s first child because 1972 is a Leap Year, ADAR II – I am 13/13/72 which roughly translates to 2/22/72. So I still am ON TOP.

No shade intended, Brit. Just had to cover my ass because of haters and the “Friendly Fire” from Tara Jean.

Oh Philippines. I hope you didn’t take my venom too much to heart. I just hope your leaders do not allow those like anne curtis-smith to use me for profit. Especially my name. Warmest Regards, Philippines.

When I’m mad, I’m vicious and I’ll try to rip you a new asshole. I can be quite mean and punishing. I’m part Lizard you know. SNAKE-Dragon

~emma ruth

I don’t apologize usually, but I do explain why I am such a BITCH.

Oh yes, I was fighting with a 1973 who has also been tryna to use my name. She thinks she’s clever – Su. right? but that’s also me and YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ST or rvth. So I win. And I knocked you out of the game. KO. I WIN

Nickleback – “Far Away”

HERA CRANES TRAP Z – but i am a RuthIE. just sayin’.

how to show, but not tell.

this song…. you’re gonna turn me into mush… oh well, it was the 90s… artists like these … my gen was really into them…. and used to listen to this music all the time, but I had to stop because we needed to work as a united ‘peoples’ – the united colors of benetton… so by the 2000s i was back with pop artists and r&b, rap, and hip-hop, which is a mix of what i already listened to in the 80s…. we had to bridge ‘racial divides’ and heal from trauma bonding that harmed all of us collectively….

i am supposed to be a ‘healer’ in the healer’s guild and I do programming and ai tech work out there to assist disparate groups of peoples to get along better and learn through cognitive behavioral therapy that often times they are ‘clueless’ and cannot see the forest from the trees. There’s a lot of disinformation, misinformation, and cognitive dissonance that destabilizes paradigms, ecosystems and polite society. When you work for an agency like quantico, you are trained to be cool cucumbers out there – cool, calm, stable, and can perform flawlessly especially during crucial and critical moments and times.

I’m still an academy instructor and I’m still educating those at the academy and employing methods to enhance and improve your critical thinking skills. Sometimes i’m a sourpuss and get moody because of my own personal ‘boundaries’. But I’m content when I have control over my moods and feelings that can impede decent logical thinking and I can make better decisions and responses.

I don’t want to have to break every thing down to the lowest denominator when most of the time it’s base and is usually the reason why we are unable to participate as informed citizens of a civilized, happy, and stable-functioning world community qualified by decent folk with good hearts and healthy minds.

We can get along. We can find humane common ground. And we can and should be gentle folk. There isn’t a one-size fits all curative solution for man’s societal ills. And I don’t enjoy a cookie-cutter world where everyone is placed in a box so as to not be misunderstood. The good, the bad, and even the ugly are integral parts of humanity and the ‘homo erectus’ experience. No one has all the answers. Not every answer is actually right. And not every answer is actually good.

Every day is another chance to do a little better than the day before that. It’s two steps forward, one step backwards, a side-step, and you do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself around. And that’s what it’s all about.

~emma ruth

i know ‘wuvvies – wda97 and jayh